This month’s blog is brought to you with a little help from a wonderful client who understands the enormous importance of social connections. This is written in the hope of helping you, or someone you know!
Moving from the UK to the USA was a big decision that brought with it a mix of emotions. It was something we really felt we wanted to do. The promise of new adventures, immersing ourselves in a different culture and the opportunity to experience all the wonderful things that came with that, called us across the Atlantic. Now, I know this all sounds very idyllic and positive, and for the most part our experience of moving to the USA was wonderful, but I would be dishonest if I did not also tell you the difficulties we faced. I am hoping that if you are in the same process, you will find this information useful and honest. So, here goes.
The Process
Client: Overwhelming is the word I would use to describe the process. Reliable legal advice and someone to help guide you through the process and provide support was invaluable. It feels like every moment a new request for paperwork lands in your inbox, I began to think “why do they need this?” and at times I wondered if it was ever going to end. It does and it’s worth it, I promise.
Jo’s perspective: Very similar to my client – emotions run high as do the stakes! You desperately want to get approval and so I felt a constant level of nervous excitement and anticipation. This can mean tiny stressors such as not knowing what or where some paperwork is gets out of proportion. I now know; practice breathing exercises, go for a short walk and use your advisors to help you. You won’t be the first or the last to experience tension during this.
The Culture
Client: It is the biggest learning curve of all, and I am so grateful for it.
Firstly, I felt this would be the easiest transition, we speak the same language, our countries have the same values and are closely aligned on so many things, turns out I had so much to learn. Thankful to all the amazing people who I have met for answering my questions, introducing me to new experiences and traditions like 4th July, Thanksgiving and lake days. I love those! Those days are my favorite part of the Summer.
Jo’s perspective: My initial move to the US was made easier by having some contacts who had gone through the same experience. They were invaluable and went on to be great friends. Now my move State to State 6 years later was a whole different game. This was my moment of underestimating the power of social connections. We didn’t know anyone; Dan was working Internationally so always on travels, and I was lonely. Now I can reflect and appreciate it truly was a time of learning. It contributed massively to my work today spotlighting loneliness and helping others work on quality connections.
Food
Client: Oh, how I longed for some fish and chips, some pickle on a cheese toasty and some good chocolate in those first few months and still do now, occasionally. How much I would miss the tastes of home was not something that had ever crossed my mind when wondering how I would feel being so far away from home. Luckily, I have met some wonderful people in my life now who have introduced me to some good Southern dishes, one of which is biscuits and gravy and honestly, if we ever leave here, that will be one of the dishes I miss, in the same way I miss fish and chips!
Jo’s perspective: Ahh yes, food is deeply ingrained in our cultural identity, and we tend not to think too much about that until everything changes. Food is a trigger of memories, feelings and emotions so no wonder we crave certain tastes or treats. For me it was a curry (inf. a good cuzza) – one of the most popular cuisines is British Indian. Oh, for a tarka dhal and saag paneer!
Side note, if you ever get the chance to visit Benares in Mayfair, London for a “posh Indian” do it.
Social
Client: Being so far away from home and everything and everyone you know is tough, there is no sugar coating it. One of the main things we need in life is connections, be it social or environmental and when this is missing it is inevitable there will be a sense of sadness and loneliness. You are not alone in this. Looking at the positive, this experience opened doors for me to form new connections and meet people, some of whom I cannot imagine my life without and to me those relationships and people certainly make up for the initial loneliness I felt.
Jo’s perspective: So similar!
Friendships made in the US are so strong now and we really treasure them. That said, there were struggles along the way – check out my blog on August 15th, 2023 “loneliness” for more.
Final Thoughts
Jo’s perspective: missing family and friends in the UK is still a huge part of everyday life. And I’m so thankful for technology. I’m often the one saying less screen time & put your phone down, except when it’s facetime with loved ones. Relationships are the single most important thing to you and your life.
The enormous privilege of now having dual citizenship of the UK and US is something I’m hugely grateful for. Moving State side has brought a wealth of opportunities in friendships, careers, travels, life experiences – from my personal experience and talking with many other ex-pats it’s anything but a smooth road, yet it is one we are thankful to take!
Client: Could not agree more with Jo’s perspective here. I feel privileged to have been given this opportunity and grateful beyond words for the experiences and people I have met here, many of whom now feel like family. Missing home and everything that encompasses is something I know will never dissipate, but I feel incredibly lucky to have a place and people to miss and a home in the USA where I feel welcomed and loved. So, if you are wondering whether to take that leap, do it! It is scary and it feels lonely for a few months, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and truly, I do not think you will regret it!
Hope there is something useful for you here…. do please comment and / or reach out directly with any questions I might be able to help with. Remember, you are not alone.
